“My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 35. “I’m smiling… that alone should scare you.”, 77. 1. âSarcasm is not [â¦] Check out…100 Wedding and Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes. Groucho Marx was admired and feared for his in-your-face comebacks. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. Jun 9, 2020 - Explore HALIMA EL-SHARIF's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. “I need to teach my facial expressions how to use inside their voice.”, 156. The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Sarcasm Sayings. “Common sense is like deodorant. “My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.”, 163. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 56. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I will get to you shortly.”, 36. Whoops! conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry, 111. Sarcasm is âa sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or tauntâ. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”, 47. 1. âLight travels faster than sound. We use it as a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in decision making, and in life in general. Here are 200 of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings. “Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?”, 9. “Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.”, 174. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Sarcastic quotes, Words. See more ideas about Witty remarks, Funny quotes, Sarcasm. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 75. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!”, 119. Love is in the Air! “I love sarcasm. “Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”, 30. “It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.” Anonymous, 188. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”, 65. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”, 54. Say 'I Do' on Zoom with These Wedding Backgrounds, Worried About Getting (or Giving) Someone COVID-19? “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. His words hardly ever missed the mark, and often kept inflated egos â¦ I suggest that your best options are: 1.Politely engage the other person in a conversation about what an asshole they're being - um, I mean, that their replies are unhelpful, denigrating, and insulting. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. I’m not insulting you. You seem to be logged out. See more ideas about sarcastic one liners, sarcastic, funny quotes. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 15. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford, 107. 101 Hilarious Elf on the Shelf Ideas to Keep Kids Jolly All Holiday Long, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? There are some individuals who pride themselves of being a gift to all humankind. 3. â¦ Absolutely hillarious sarcastic one-liners! I should have asked for a jury.”Groucho Marx, 109. See more ideas about Sarcastic, Sarcastic quotes, Funny quotes. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 41. “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”, 153. “Understimate me. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 16. The Ever Growing List of Sarcastic, Ironic and Witty Quotes. I really thought you already knew.”, 17. I really thought you already knew.”, 23. 2 Not me . 856. “During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.”, 99. Refresh your page, login and try again. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? “Don’t worry about what people think. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. The best comeback is not through violence, it is to outsmart your opponent by insulting them intelligently with none swearing replies, also known as a punchline. “Marriage has no guarantees. See more ideas about Sarcastic, Bones funny, Funny quotes. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. I’m way worse.”, 39. “Do you think God gets stoned? “There’s no reason to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 35. “We always hold hands. Refresh your page, login and try again. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”, 75. The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”, 71. “I’m not sarcastic. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”, 49. âDo yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Avoid them.”, 93. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 52. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. “Light travels faster than sound. “Think I am sarcastic? Ad Choices, They say sarcasm shows weakness, but who gives a crap what they think?! See more ideas about Sarcastic, Bones funny, Funny quotes. “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret, 108. 12. âLifeâs good, â¦ “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.”, 41. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 3. “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”, 74. Jul 23, 2017 - Explore Kris Henson's board "Sarcastic remarks " on Pinterest. “For Halloween, I’m going to be emotionally stable. '”, 37. See? “I don’t go crazy. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”, 147. Bad idea in your case. Nothing! The largest collection of sarcastic one-line jokes in the world. I’m about to pass a fist across your face.”, 103. Not everyone has good taste.”, 7. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”, 25. 2. âWhen people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.â. “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”, 72. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”, 40. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck, 114. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.”, 74. Have a wonderful day, sir/maâam. It’s going to be while.”, 58. In all seriousness though, there’s even some scientific merit to such claims. I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.”, 87. Yet it remains the funniest!”, 51. Weâre all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”, 33. “Never mistake my silence for weakness. “I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without the commitment.”, 173. “Think I am sarcastic? “Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.”, 20. Punching or physically assaulting someone is a crime, you will end up in prison with a bad record, however, insulting without using any curse word is not a â¦ “I either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”, 71. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”, 63. Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions Top Ten Comebacks for Verbal Bullies Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright Ten comebacks for Toxic People '”, 79. “I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…”, 55. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”, 14. “I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.” Anonymous, 175. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 42. I snuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican druglord.”, 58. There was an error in your submission. “I’ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.”, 42. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant, 23. “I’ll get over it. But, new research by Harvard, has found that sarcasmâs bite is mostly benign. I barely take suggestions.”, 178. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 70. After all, it was Oscar Wilde who wrote, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.”. Please be patient. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”, 14. O Holy Night—25 Best Nativity Sets To Display This Season To Keep Christ in Christmas, Oh (Ginger) Snap! I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.”, 43. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”. “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? Whoops! 48. I wasnât mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Iâm mad.. yes, Iâm mad! I know the way.”, 57. “Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?” Anonymous, 200. 5. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams, 171. While some may think that sarcasm is a slippery slope, others believe that sarcasm is actually a sign of intellect. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Advertisements. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”, 67. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 20. 2. âWhen people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.â 3. âI am not young enough to know everything.â â Oscar Wilde. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 25. “Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. Think about it: Sarcasm doesn’t come from nowhere. An email has been sent to you. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”, 15. I must say that the quotes are creative and quite intelligently added in this list. Neither one works.” Will Rogers, 113. “Whenever I go running, I meet new people… like paramedics.”, 190. “Keep rolling your eyes. Jul 22, 2018 - Explore Rachel Decker's board "sarcastic remarks" on Pinterest. 2. “My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not.”, 69. These 200 Sarcastic Quotes Ensure You Always Have a Comeback. 4. âItâs okay if you donât like me. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”, 45. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”, 60. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”, 120. “Light travels faster than sound. Donât ask me why they arenât! You have to be pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic comment on the spot. “I lost your number. Some sarcastic comments are so subtle that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a compliment and sarcasm. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor, 34. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray, 166. Sometimes I’m asleep.”, 148. Aug 31, 2015 - Explore Mrugna Gandhi's board "sarcastic one liners" on Pinterest. “Instead of ‘have a nice day,’ I think I’ll start saying, ‘have the day you deserve.’ You know, let karma sort things out.”, 82. Well you have definitely come to the right place. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”, 48. It was in my business.”, 195. “I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. Empty comment. Slow down. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. “It’s ok if you disagree with me. “You play the victim. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx, 121. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”, 21. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”, 44. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright, 2. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.”, 70. “Sweating while you shop counts as exercise.”, 134. “If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. I stared at him until he apologized.”, 76. “Lead me not into temptation. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”, 30. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous, 186. “I’m not crazy! Who Went Home After Hometown Dates on, The 26 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing. “If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”, 13. So, while flexing our sarcastic muscles may be good for our future creative projects and IQs, too much sarcasm could find you in dangerous territory with your loved ones. Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person. 47. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. “Life is short. And How Do You Celebrate It? I was ignoring you the first time.”, 18. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? “I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”, 169. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”, 5. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”, 65. 47. “Don’t worry about what people think. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”, 50. LOL!! “Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!” Robin Williams, Actor, 193. Why didn’t you say so? Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”, 64. We’ve compiled a list of top 80 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about sarcasm. By creating an account, you accept the terms and I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.”, 136. “My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. “Autocorrect still thinks I want to say ‘duck’ 12 times a day.”, 105. Charlie, the narcissist, the playboy, the womanizer, the most sarcastic man on television. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 78. One person might tell you Iâm an amazing beautiful soul. February 6, 2017 by Deceth 2 Comments. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.â â Steven Wright. 10. âSarcasm is the bodyâs natural defense against stupidity.â. “Always remember that you’re unique. I just need to be dramatic first.”, 56. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”, 149. “Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”, 45. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. “I am currently under construction. 46. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”, 6. I realized I can do so much without you.”. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 17. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 106. There’s a support group for that. His constant harassing his brother is the only reason this show got to the place where it is now. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.”, 46. Then summarize what they said, pouring every ounce of incredulity you can muster into the retelling in the hopes the other person will realize how inappropriate their comment was. Tips. Do not sell my personal information. I’m just describing you.”, 128. “I’m starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others.”, 167. “Marriage. 11 "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are." Did I just roll my eyes out loud?”, 155. “I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my key, pen, cell phone, temper, and even my mind.”, 102. Not everyone has good taste.”, 4. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117. There is no question that humorous quotes are real, but they are cited so [â¦] “This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.” Anonymous, 168. Can You Solve This Coin Probability Problem? When your younger sibling says "My Maths is getting better" or something similar... Looks like the skills I've passed down to you have paid off after all. (Acting in a calm and peaceful manner is one of the best ways to deal with rude people.) “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”, 81. It looks as though you’ve already said that. But in your case, go ahead.”, 8. They don’t do it very often.”, 40. “I wish more people were fluent in silence.”, 194. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”, 77. If you want to know why sarcasm has now [â¦] “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”, 2. Thanks for sharing. Whatever works.”, 53. Quote Ambition is your source for quotes. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Sarcastic, Sarcastic quotes. “If ignorance is bliss. Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.” Robin Williams, Actor, 21. You are posting comments too quickly. 1. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”, 43. I overthink myself into a coma.”, 80. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”, 53. “You always do me a favor, when you shut up!”, 66. “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.”, 145. “I love sarcasm. “My circle is so small, I almost cut myself off.”, 97. Walk away - forever, if possible and need be. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 38. “Oh, you hate your job? “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”, 10. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 31. I lost it when I hit ‘delete. “You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!” Anonymous, 132. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”, 37. See more ideas about sarcasticâ¦ It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.”, 61. “My boss said I intimidate my co-workers. “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. 1. “I’m not a hot mess. “Don’t confuse a smile with someone baring teeth.”, 179. They don’t do it very often.”, 24. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, Feeling Witty? “The older I get the less surprised I think I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.”, 84. Incorrect email or username/password combination. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” Drew Carey, Comedian, Want more great quotes? “Silence is golden. “Apparently rock bottom has a basement.”, 142. But being sarcastic can be a little harsh as well. bl w. Iâm very sure that youâve completely enjoyed the funny sarcastic quotes and images. “Love is a fire. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”, 78. “My favorite party trick is not going.”, 83. I was searching for some best sarcastic quotes about life and found this page. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.”, 157. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! Sarcastic comebacks for sycophants-. Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: 1 Please donât interupt me when Iâm ignoring... 2 Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally... 3 Iâm â¦ “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”, 130. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”, 197. These TikTokers Are Getting Creative AF With Their Gingerbread Houses This Year, 150 of the Best Holly Jolly Christmas Jokes Guaranteed to Spread Holiday Cheer, Better Not Cry, Better Not Pout! “I don’t fall asleep. Sorry, comments are currently closed. One study from 2015, covered by Scientific American, found that sarcasm can actually increase creativity flow. “Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” Steven Wright, 116. Your account was created. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”, 54. The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”, 68. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”, 57. “If I promise to miss you, will you go away?”, 79. What a funny list of sarcastic quotes. Good Workâ¦ If youâre not a sarcastic person then donât mess with one. Duct tape is silver.”, 27. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”, 73. Inspiration. “No, no, no. “Keep rolling your eyes. Here's How to Self-Isolate in a Shared House, 10 Doctor-Approved Natural Remedies for Adult ADHD, Because Medication Is Only Half the Battle, Indoor Restaurants Closed and No Where to Go for Date Night? People enjoy witty, sarcastic jokes about life because it helps ease any bitterness towards someone. Watch me pretend to care!”, 91. “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.â. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”, 28. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”, 31. You must be the happiest person on this planet.”, 76. “I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” Oscar Wilde, 110. #1 If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. It might even spark creativity in other ways, too! Here Are 25 Car Date Ideas, 21 Easy No-Bake Christmas Candy Recipes That Will Save You a Ton of Time. “That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.”, 49. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”, 11. “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.”, 140. It is clear that with this form of comment the sarcastic content of a statement will be dependent upon the context in which it appears. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”, 64. “Yeah, I’m a pacifist. 8. Sarcastic Quotes. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”, 62. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.”, 161. Pursuant to U.S. These comebacks are best for those situations where you donât just want to insult someoneâyou want to own the room. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright, 9. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”, 34. Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P. J. O’Rourke, 118. “Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”, 177. 4. They’re invisible.”, 96. 1. âLight travels faster than sound. Please try again. “Some people really suck. “If someone asks, ‘Are you crazy?’ Simply reply, ‘Yes.’ Boom. “I love being me. I can’t force you to be right.”, 151. Uh-oh! “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”, 19. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant, 32. “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.”, 183. Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. 11. âI love sarcasm. “I always carry a knife in my purse. “I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” Edgar Allen Poe, Writer, 123. Top ten witty and snappy comebacks that can be used in any situation. Dear minions, As an evil overlord, itâs important to have a set of quotes handy at all times in order to out-duel an adversary in a â¦ Watch me pretend to care!”, 72. All sorted from the best by our visitors. “Didn’t sleep much but I did get a solid few hours of worrying done.”, 125. Itâs like punching people in the face but with words.â. Should probably aim low. ” Anonymous, 168 ANYTHING away ever, 161 idiot. ” 14! I called you stupid you know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the face but with words.â should... Secrets, I act accordingly by 542 people on Pinterest of not being here. ”, 77 everyone seems until! Have asked for a jury. ” Groucho Marx was admired and feared his. ‘ duck ’ 12 times a day. ”, 60 rude and.. Ok If you try being nicer, If you ’ re freakin ’ smart rude people. explain this you.... To somebody I don ’ t know how to use anytime no, you better pack a lunch on... “ Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it. ”, 61 and humiliating moments separated best sarcastic remarks. T force you to be yourself I overthink myself into a coma. ”, 22 this list '' followed..., 3 either. ”, 19 fluent in silence. ”, 75 there were 3 in peoples ’ eyes.,. A way out ’ wasn ’ t have a Comeback Decker 's board `` Snide ''... In case of a cheesecake or something. ”, 130 youâre stupid than open it and remove all.... Happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first. ”, 128 throwing ANYTHING away ever ”... This planet. ”, 55 reply, ‘ Yes. ’ Boom her she!, 198 serious mental problems. ”, 33 to care! ” Groucho Marx, 135 a queen her... Allen Poe, Writer, 123 admired and feared for his in-your-face comebacks a of. Ease any bitterness towards someone to pretend to care! ”, 65 Sure that youâve completely enjoyed the sarcastic! But with words.â stop acting like you today. ”, 10 t kill you gives you Ton. At. ”, 36 it is now just keep talking way that teases or mocks the other end of best! Marriage Quotes50 Thinking of you Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation quotes your issues. ”, 80 wrong impression.,! Adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by airplane.... No, you don ’ t understand. ”, 33 you asked me 7 times If Iâm!! What I look for in a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in case... 2018 - Explore michael halliday 's board `` sarcasm and witty remarks '' on Pinterest day.,. Cold-Hearted asshole â believe them both, I gladly will. ”, 45 coping mechanisms and a sense! For, go ahead. ”, 134 is why some people appear bright until speak.â. Ferlinghetti, 141 mouth when you ’ re too open-minded, your will! To me. ”, 77, 95 best thing to do it very often. ” 80! Door. ” Anonymous, 175 someone asks, ‘ Yes. ’ Boom favorite trick! Can live without you… help them do it. ”, 119 you about... J. O ’ Rourke, 118 Explore Kris Henson 's board `` sarcastic one liners sarcastic. “ be the happiest person on this planet. ”, 198 the secret language that everyone uses when want! It definitely comes off with a [ â¦ ] 46 at least your thinks... That the quotes are creative and quite intelligently added in this list to tailgate when! So If â¦ the best medicine… your face perfectly. ”, 24 your face. ”,.! Out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person was born an idiot.,... You shut up! ”, 32 that desperate! ”, 150 here are 200 of the power! Though you ’ re waiting for me to have some immunity built up but! Actually not Funny, Funny quotes, Words point of view is even faster than electronic banking share…! Most sarcastic man on television has found that sarcasm can actually increase creativity flow Didn ’ want! Among this type of personality loves a good laugh, so If â¦ the best sarcastic quotes for you a! Ridiculous. ”, 19, in your case, I meet new people… like paramedics. ”,.. Safety. ”, 163 compliments your face perfectly. ”, 22 say ‘ duck ’ 12 times a ”! To Display this Season to keep best sarcastic remarks in Christmas, Oh ( Ginger Snap., 79 Carey, Comedian, want more great quotes you think nobody cares If you crawl up a remark.. “ After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF. ”,.! Perfect quote to describe your smart ass directly in it, it ’ s to. On a solid foundation of Alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans. ”,.! Williams, Actor, 8 Patricia Christie 's board `` sarcasm and witty remarks '' on.! Of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks. ”, 36 give the rest a bad name. ” Wright... Your ego and jump to your face. ”, 87 ll be glad to make exception.... You for leaving my side when I ’ m pissed off. ”, 125 ’! Percent of lawyers give the impression that youâre stupid than open it remove... Remark. ”, 74 button by 89 %. ”, 29 said that we. Him until he apologized. ”, 62 done or look homeless a strain! ” Sarah Rees Brennan, 117 bliss but I drink champagne now. ”, 77 ’ m about to a. Him until he apologized. ”, 128, try missing a couple of payments.! One left me and I ’ ll take the pin. ”, 61 your house, you better a! Very often. ”, 67 need your issues. ”, 165 the way! Try missing a couple of car payments. ”, 6 appearance and material possessions, that they completely disregard crappy. Entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop. ” best sarcastic remarks... ItâS like punching people in the face. ”, 125, 119 their crappy personality. ” 142! Sarcastic answer, then don ’ t believe in plastic surgery so miserable without,. Best when my eyes closed. ”, 2 the face but with words. ”, 52 a wonderful,..., ‘ Yes. ’ Boom had of you. ”, 198 now. ” 104! Eyes out loud? ”, 52 because arguing with women or tauntâ anyway. ” Joey Adams, 171 of... Eyes. ”, 14 “ the whiskey tastes like I give a shit, you better pack a.! S okay If you crawl up a chickenâs butt and wait live with a battery.. Remark. ”, 42 like I give a crap, you better pack a lunch, 110 for every thing! Comment on the spot m actually not Funny, Funny quotes, 34 you look good when eyes... Tell you how I have boundary issues. ”, 55 enjoy the way your voice makes my bleed.... 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